descripcion

miércoles, enero 31, 2007

HISTORIAS DEL BRAGUERO

ER TOPO

Tengo un amigo que vende bragas fajeras en el mercaillo. Su nombre es Ginés Heredia pero le llaman el braguero. Mi colega es gitano y lo de vender de casta le viene al galgo. Su madre vende ajos sábado sí y sábado también, y er papa es un sastre cotizao y refutao en la yessé calé. Famosos son sus esquijamas y sus camisas de brillos.
Hace unos años mientras trabajaba la maquinilla tres en uno, a saber: corta pelos de patillas, de nariz y orejeros, el recién importado artículo metrosexualmente indispensable, un tipo ataviado con un traje negro con pinta entre aspirante a reportero de caiga quien caiga y el pequeño de los blues brothers, se le acercó con aires de misterio.
- ¡¡Braguero!!. Le espetó. – ¿Sabes por qué el toro de San Roque no tiene rabo?.
- Pus claro payo, porlquel Richal se lo cortó parl caldo

Desde aquel momento el braguero trabajaría para el gobierno y la libertad. Su carrera desde aquel momento fue meteórica. Se codearía con los grandes. Mortadelo y Filemón, Men in Black, Ethan Hunt, Bourne, Gadget etc...

Anteayer mientras tomaba unas barrechas con 007 a eso de porl la mañana, sonó su móvil, esta vez no era la Sole. Debía desplazarse hasta Turquía, camuflarse como vendedor ambulante en el Gran Bazar y esperar instrucciones.
Se despidió de Bond con un solisombra y tomó el primer avión a Estambul.
Una vez allí, no le costó mucho confundirse entre los vendedores. Se estableció como vendedor de cachimbas, artículo que conocía bien y que le permitía ponerse hasta arriba de grifa pagüantá la presión. A los tres días, estando siego de hachís recibió las instrucciones de la misión por vía sensorial, la cosa rezaba así:

“Sucuestro y usurpassión didentidá der presidente der banco mundiá pa realissá un giro político-económico mundiá que pueda favoresé erl desarrollu sustenio de lah classe má pobre der planeta en contra de lactuá política de preparassión der terreno pa lasentamiento de loh grande podere fasticos de la globalissassión. STOP. Intersseptá arl objetivo en el bassá a eso de porl la tarde noshe mientrahtá de shopin. STOP. La señarl pa cofirmarl er cumplimento de la misión será un bujero en loh carssetine. STOP.”

Ahora necesitará la ayuda der papa pal corte y confessión der traje, der tijerita parl corte de pelo y de la grifa de la Sole pa insuflarle al objetivo un siego de no te menees en 9 semanas y media vía cachimba de regalo.

¿Logrará el braguero su misión?. ¿Es posible otra globalización?

Para la primera pregunta, tenemos la respuesta:


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